Don’t Worry, Be Happy

OK, OK – maybe there are some things to worry about – but Nebraska is 1-0 and you’d be wise to take it and run with it

It’s a bird, it’s a plane – a 5-foot-9 plane, by the way – in the form of Malcolm Hartzog swooping in to save the day in Nebraska’s 20-17 win over Cincinnati at Arrowhead Stadium … all while Cincy alum and newly-anointed “Mr. Swift” Travis Kelce looks on from his luxury suite. – Illustration by Anthony Aleman

“We bleeping won! We bleeping won a close game! How could anyone not be happy?”

That was more or less the sentiment of me and my particular crew of elated Huskers jackals – errrr, friends – on our decent down the ramps of Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City towards the parking lot, leaving after Nebraska’s 20-17 win over Cincinnati last Thursday and minutes after Malcom Hartzog Jr.’s game-clinching interception.

But the winding ramps of Arrowhead were full of jam-packed, closely-knit, still-partially-soused bodies and therefore, they hold no secrets. So we heard the talk, the whispers, and the chit-chat, too. “Gonna be long season.” “Same ol’ sh*t.” And my personal favorite, “so much for all the hype.” (My personal favorite because – as we noted last week – we do it to ourselves … eight months of offseason obsession turns 3-star players into 4-stars, 4-stars into 5-stars).

It's a "W," people! Come on!

After a nightmarish run of season openers against Power 4 opponents that lasted for more than two decades, Nebraska finally got one. Do Matt Rhule and his staff still need to pull out some shoe polish and put more shine on the weak spots? Of course. Ask Texas. Ask Clemson. Ask freakin’ Alabama, which, speaking of descents, might be heading for a decline all too familiar to Husker fans. So does every single team in the country.  

IT didn't happen!

I suppose it was somewhat discouraging that IT almost happened again. But keep your eyes on the goddamn ball, like Hartzog did. Because IT did not. “How could anyone not be happy?” Ironically, what we didn’t see constituted progress. If you have dreams of a Huskers return to prominence – or even relevance, which I most certainly do – you gotta crawl before you walk, walk before jog, and jog before you sprint. Not blowing it on a Thursday night in front of a national television audience foaming at the mouth for football and armed with a pocketful of hot takes – even Scott Van Pelt, he of the 100 percent SportsCenter anchor approval rating, noted at the 2-minute warning how tortured Nebraska fans are.

But for once, and although we bent, we did not break. How could anyone not be happy?

With that being said, let’s take a look back at the Cincinnati game with my (fairly unoriginal) concept, “Four Downs.” Hut-hut-hut.

FOUR DOWNS:

1. Dylan Raiola’s patience and self-control were arguably the biggest key to the win. By now it’s all too well-known that our 5-star quarterback savior wants to be exactly like Patrick Mahomes. The hair, the jersey number, the mannerisms, stadium entrances, etc. And the internet, being the internet, loves to clown on this, because that’s what the internet does. But allow me to retort: “do you remember being 20 years old? Did you ever have an idol?” I bet you did, funny guy, and I bet you tried to act like him, too. But anyway. So imagine you’re Dylan; you’re 20 years old; and now you’re not only playing in front of your idol – who is watching you from his luxury suite, by the way – and in his stadium, nonetheless.

He's not even old enough to buy a beer, folks. Let him have his sports hero.

Do you think Dylan wanted to impress Mahomes by uncorking some hero-ball passes? Of course he did. Cincinnati was banking on him doing just that. But he stayed disciplined, stayed on script, took what the defense gave him and refused to let the Bearcats bait him into game-changing mistakes that could’ve turned those reticent whispers (we heard them though!) on the descent down Arrowhead’s ramps into mass chaos*** (trust me when I say I’ve seen the true descending ramps of despair before). That’s a testament to Dylan’s maturity and willingness to accept coaching, despite the million-dollar paychecks and celebrity status. And actually, I kind of like (and by like I definitely mean love) that Dylan doesn’t seem to give one single bleep about the memes; national prognosticators called his Cincinnati performance blahzayblah; I’ve never felt more confident that we’re in good hands.

2. The defensive backs looked like the strength of the defense … but the jury’s still out. The DBs were awesome. I’m not here to say they weren’t. Malcom Hartzog saved the damn game. I’m not going to be that guy. But while I appreciated the Cincinnati quarterback’s ability to run, his moxie (love me some moxie!) and his toughness, ain’t nobody mistaking him for 1984 Dan Marino. I guess a lot my reluctance to crown the secondary is scar tissue from last year’s 56-7 loss to Indiana. Then again, names have changed, players have gotten better, and other guys (like Marques Buford Jr.) are back in their more natural positions. They passed this test – possibly because the Bearcats couldn’t pass – but much tougher tests await. There is legitimate reason for optimism; I just need to see more.     

3. The defensive line, on the other hand, is a legit concern. Actually, the offensive line, too. We all knew the loss of Ty Robinson and Nash Hutmacher was going to hurt. But dayyyum. Watch this. Yeah, yeah; I know, I know. It’s just one play. I’m not even trying to single anyone out (although I guess posting a link that singles out one guy is the 2025 version of doing exactly that; my bad), but you can find him. What I’m really trying to say is we saw proof that the loss of Robinson at Hutmacher is not only going to hurt, it’s going to hurt, like, real bad. And on the flip side of the coin, the offensive line was … not great! (Nebraska rushed for 3.1 yards per carry versus Cincinnati’s 6.7; we gave up three sacks, the Bearcats gave up zero). Not for a unit that was touted – and I swear I heard this amongst the 500 hours of offseason podcasts I listened to – as possibly being one of the best in the country. (Again, we do it to ourselves.) Cincinnati is good; it’s just that the majority of the Big Ten’s interiors will be better.   

4. This win will look even better by December. I’ll put myself out on a limb, and if I’m wrong, I’ll just hope you’ll forget this by November (and judging by internet behavior, you probably will – a rarest of rare win-wins for me): Cincinnati will be good this year. As predicted, they were physical, they were not intimidated whatsoever by the pro-Nebraska crowd, they were resilient, and they had a solid gameplan on both sides of the ball. And if you have any delusions of grandeur – aka making the College Football Playoff this year – you should become a huge Bearcats fan, starting right now.    

The thing that everybody seems to be talking about…

Everything for Nebraska’s offense just seems so damn hard. Even our best plays – like the weird run-pass option near the goal line that was completed to Luke Lindenmeyer, as well as the 4^th down touchdown to Dane Key. Again, that might just be a testament to Cincinnati’s gameplan. Or – and this is my biggest fear – it could be a sign that having a non-scrambling quarterback is no longer tenable in the 2025 version of football. I have faith in Dylan figuring it out, but man what a cheat code it is to have a guy who can drop back, wait for the defenders in key positions to turn their backs, and then just take off.  

The thing that nobody seems to be talking about…

The reason nobody is talking about this is probably because there’s nothing Rhule can do about it now – water under the bridge, so to speak – but watching Miami play Notre Dame on Sunday night, Nebraska should’ve ponied up for running back CharMar Brown. He’s an Omaha native (he played for Creighton Prep) who began his career at North Dakota State, was on the transfer portal market in the spring and now plays for the Hurricanes. And maaaan, Brown looked like a beastie boy against the Irish, and (back to something everyone is talking about) Emmett Johnson’s 32-touches workload last Thursday is unsustainable over the course of the Big Ten grind. I won’t pretend like I have any sort of insider information, but reading between lines, it sounds like either Brown’s price tag was too high or Rhule looked at his backup running backs and felt comfortable. The thought of Emmett having 32 touches in nine games of Big Ten play has me feeling the exact opposite.    

Bonus: Notes from Arrowhead Stadium, Section 104, Row 3

-       Like many other die-hards, Nebraska kicking off the season in Arrowhead on a Thursday night seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so me and my friends got sah-weet tickets – or so we thought. It’s likely you’ve been in this situation before. We were on the 15-yard-line, row 3 – the kind of seats where you pray that a majority of the action will be on your side of the field. Fate was not on our side. Ohhhhh hell no, it was not. I’d venture to guess that 85 percent, possibly 90, of the action was on the wrong side of the field, at least for us.

-       So, football fans, you know how it goes from that vantage point: Was that a 20-yard-run or a 2-yard loss? I have no clue, man. Option A is to cheer and clap and hope for the best and wait for the partisan crowd to let you know whether or not it was a good play; Option B is to simply look up and watch the action on the jumbotron. But if you do that, why spend $250 on sah-weet tickets?  

-       Herbie was right in front of us though, which was good, and he was doing his usual Herbie things – and that did NOT include proposing to Taylor Swift. Geez. What a world. Settle down, Swifties.

-       But! All that being said, Hartzog’s interception was on our side of the field (although the opposite sideline). With everything on the line, from my vantage point (and admittedly five or six beers deep), Malcolm swooped in and made the most acrobatic interception I’ve ever seen. The television angle does it no justice. My point being that if you can, opt for the sah-weet tickets. It’s always worth it. (Breakfast was awesome, by the way*** link to last week’s article.) Even if you have to put up with skeptics on the descent down the Arrowhead Stadium ramps.