Full Steam Ahead

Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Akron went on a trip and oh, buddy did they get some R&R! Unfortunately, it was the combination of Rhule and Raiola, plus a host of others. Illustration by Anthony Aleman

One team was on roll – the other team was under it – in Nebraska’s 68-0 drubbing of Akron

It was a picturesque night in Lincoln set up for picturesque football, and that’s exactly what Nebraska delivered in a 68-0 steamrolling of Akron. Nebraska was favored by 34.5 points and beat the Zips by nearly twice that. The 68 points – courtesy of nine touchdowns, a field goal and a safety – were the most scored by a Nebraska team since 2012 – and it came attached with an eye-popping 728 yards.   

But all that perfection came attached with a tiny little debate.

The obvious question was, just how bad is Akron? The obvious answer, as I watched the game in real time and upon my Sunday morning YouTube rewatch – is that they are really bad. As you’ve probably heard by now, the Zips have proven to be befitting of their mascot in two games this year, failing to register a single point over eight quarters. Uh, hey guys … you know just because we’re called the Cornhuskers doesn’t mean our players don’t actually husk corn, right? I hate to pile on, but the most important number – wins – backs up all accusations of Akron’s awfulness: they have won 15 games over the last seven years. And you thought we’ve had things to complain about since 2018.

Can you guess which college football team they're talking about?

I think the two grounds crew workers from “Major League” summed it up best. (OK, OK, I guess maybe I do like to pile it on. But easy wins like these have been few and far between lately.)

Then again, I’m not here to throw cold water on any of the good vibes coming out of what we saw on Saturday night. Check that – great vibes. It was the first home game of the year, a night game to boot, the weather was perfect, there was a drone show after the third quarter and the final score was 68-0. You know it’s your night when your first shutout in 15 years was preserved because Akron’s kicker schtoinked one of the goalpost to end the first half. And then you know it’s really, really your night when one of your players gets engaged to his girlfriend.    

Do we really know anything more about how this year will unfold? I actually think we did. But did Nebraska do basically everything it could to steamroll the Zips out of town and keep their early season momentum going? Pretty much. With all that being said, let’s recap the action with “Four Downs.”

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FOUR DOWNS

Are you ready to go to war for Rhule?

1. Matt Rhule’s halftime speech is a sign that his players trust his leadership; fans should, too (all of them). Ninety-nine percent of the time, Rhule’s persona – whether in press conferences or on social media – comes off as calm, positive and very introspective. But! He can also make

you want to run through a goddamn brick wall, too. There’s Saturday night’s Example A (above), but don’t forget about Example B prior to a game during his first season in 2023, which inspired a line of T-shirts.

Coaching in 2025 is hard; navigating the potential pratfalls (and did you know one of the literal definitions of the word pratfall is “a fall on the buttocks”? LOL, and the more you know…) of the current climate of college football – when some players make more than most of the assistant coaches – comes with a much higher degree of difficulty than it did 10 years ago. When it comes to ripping into players, you have to pick your spots, Rhule seems to know when to press all the right buttons. The fact that the players are responded in 2023 was a sign of a good culture. The fact that they responded again on Saturday feels more like proof.

He’s also looking quite svelte on the sidelines these days, too. Just sayin’ – the new recipe must be more points on the scoreboard and less calories in the kitchen. I’m all for it.

2. Again, I promise I’m not here to rain on the parade, but the jury is still out on both interior lines. It’s tough to criticize an offensive line that helped produce 234 rushing yards and zero sacks. On the opposite side of the ball the defensive front seven allowed 113, which is … OK, considering the competition. I guess what I’m getting at is that while most things are difficult to honestly evaluate against a team like that – especially at this point in the season – what we saw against Cincinnati is still concerning and we aren’t going to know much more for another 10 days. Which leads me to… 

3. The early-season schedule seems to be setting up perfectly heading towards Michigan … I think. On paper, yes, it should be absolutely perfect: start by getting toughened up out of the gate and pass a real test in front of a thirsty, ready-to-criticize, all-eyeballs-on-you national television audience against a good Cincinnati team. (They beat Bowling Green last week in not-all-that-impressive fashion, but I’m holding steadfast to my belief that they will be good.) Next get reps and some degree of rest and confidence against vastly inferior opponents. The argument against this theory is that they soften up a little too much in preparation. I know, I know … that’s most likely some serious overthinking – but that’s also what PTFD will do to you. (I have faith you can figure that out.)  

4. With Nebraska taking care of business from start to finish – possibly the only shocking development of the night was that I actually liked the red endzones. And trust me when I say I really wanted to hate them. I’m the guy who hates basically any and all shifts away from tradition (just stop with the alternate uniforms already, people) and basically wants everything to be like it was when I was 14 (including a return to dominance). But I gotta say, those babies looked sharp. Hey, sometimes I’m wrong. Also: all endzones are bound to look sharp when your team gets the ball over the goal line nine times in one game.

Luke Lindenmeyer proposed to his girlfriend after the game.

The thing everybody seems to be talking about…Tight end Luke Lindenmeyer, who graduated from Papillion La-Vista, is winning on the field and winning off it, too. After notching 3 catches for 44 yards – including a sah-weet one-hander – plus one of those nine tuddies, Lindemeyer proposed to his girlfriend after the game while being cheered on and surrounded by his teammates. Captain Obvious is here to tell you she said yes. Lindenmeyer is an example of a Husker player who floated under the radar and has turned into one of our best players. Of course we root for all of them all, but simultaneously we can be as guilty of assuming great things for some players and mediocre things for others without letting the thing play out, when the reality is we should all wait to see what develops on the field. Lindenmeyer is this season’s reminder of just that and is turning into a legitimate NFL prospect as it happens.    

The thing nobody is talking about…

Dad? Where you at?

It was a crisp game all-around for quarterback for Dylan Raiola. He was 24 of 31 for 364 yards (and many of the big plays we were looking for) with four touchdowns. As was the case against Cincinnati, there were a couple of throws he’d like probably like to have back – but for coaches and/or fans to complain about anything is to admit we are holding him to a high standard, which is a good thing. His worst play of the night? Look at this three-point stance! Come on, DR. I thought his old man might’ve taught him better than this.

Looking ahead…

The 11 a.m. game against Houston Christian should be more of the same from last week. On paper it could be worse, but the early start made dictate a much less palpable atmosphere. And that’s fine. Get in, get out and get ready for Michigan. And now that we all know exactly what the word means, the steamroller will be out again and I predict very few, if any, pratfalls. Not for Nebraska, anyway.